“The ability to engage the reader, to stir feelings deep within their being, is the ultimate goal of erotic fiction. When the reader takes the place of the characters in my story, I have succeeded.”- Sasha Holden, author of Malcolm’s Prize, an erotic fiction.Men knowing women well enough in bed, physically and mentally, should have been the reality. They treating us as only a source of giving them pleasure is the reality. Kiran Gandi sparked an online debate by running the London Marathon without a tampon, with menstrual blood dripping off her legs, to break the stigma associated with periods. From bra straps to periods, people have started talking about it like never before. It is high time to break another stigma associated with sex and women. Women have started coming out with their fantasies and choices. They are breaking free and if you want your partner to stay, start to know what they want. And, nothing can be a better guide than erotica. Here’s why.
1. We are more than a distressed princess- Know a woman in her true form. Contrary to what men like to say that a woman’s mind is impossible to read, knowing her body is the most difficult part. No, we are not just eyes, ears, lips, neck, breasts, vagina and thighs. We have pubic hair, we bleed at an interval of 28 days and we wear bras that have straps, to cry out loud. Oh, and we are not always 32, 26, 34. Neither do we want to be. We prefer men to know it before than give that “Oh what is that!” expression when we are just too excited to have our big ‘O’.
2. A woman enjoys sex like you- We don’t have sex just to bear a child and increase your heir population. We do it as we enjoy it. Period.
“Erotica is purely an extension of oneself, or one’s sexuality to be more specific. One’s inner most wants and desires. Exploring ones sexuality through a novel is healthy as individuals can relate and in turn engage in sexual activities in a passive format. For the most part erotica is sensuous, arousing and stimulatory, without being violent and abusive,” said Sasha.
3. We rule the fairyland too- We know men have their own fantasies. But did you know we have our own set of fantasies too which are not ‘husband coming home and make mushy love to us’ type. We like running in the fields, ride our chariots and sway against the wind. We have our own choices of positions too, legal and illegal. We prefer men to be creative.
“I believe erotic fiction has a lot to offer the male community. Many men have unrequited desires and inner sexual urges that can be both confusing and frustrating for them. They are often unaware of what women want and need sexually, and they feel alienated within their relationships and sex lives as a consequence. Reading erotica can provide men with a healthy outlet for their sexual desires and enable them to better understand not only themselves sexually, but reach a better understanding of women’s sexual needs and wants,” she said.
4. A women’s perspective of sex- The best way to make us happy is to try putting yourself in our shoes and enjoy a woman’s perspective of sex for a change. It is extremely important to know what women want in bed rather than just doing what you want. We think poles apart when it comes to being happy in bed. Our libido talks too.
5. We like exploring our own world- We touch ourselves and there is nothing to frown upon. While we read, we watch too. We hate it that men do not know all our pleasure points. Is the society finding it that difficult to talk about a woman masturbating? This might help- the more we know ourselves, the less work you have in bed!
“I write for both males as well as females however my audience is often middle aged women who enjoy the feeling of exploring their inner most sexual desires and urges.”
6. It helps men too.
“Men are turned on predominantly by pornographic images and content, yet erotica in written form can provide levels of intensity and both mental and physical stimulation that indeed surpasses both images and vision. By relating to the erotic content they are reading, and at times by “picturing themselves in the story”, men can reach heightened levels of arousal and passion that take them to another level,” added Sasha.
Sasha further said that about 80 to at times 90 percent women read her books. A large proportion of men switch onto erotic poetry and short stories, yet these figures do not correlate to ebook and paperback sales of her erotica. That department is still monopolised by female readers.
“Some men indeed see reading erotica as a weakness, an affront to their prowess in the bedroom. Or a medium that challenges their own sexuality; “I’m a stud I certainly don’t want to read about anyone else being one”. Other men envisage erotica as being written purely for girls and women with nothing better to do than dream about fictitious romances to fill a void in their otherwise imperfect worlds. Either way many men don’t read erotica because they just haven’t tried it, and they believe it’s all for women.”
Sad but true!