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Why Physical Intimacy In A Relationship Doesn’t Always Amount To Intercourse

For years, physical intimacy has been proven by psychologists, relationship counsellors, and now sex therapists, to form an integral part of a healthy and successful relationship between couples. By physical intimacy we mean sex, don’t we? Well, not always. There’s a little more to physical intimacy than sailing between the sheets with your partner. Take a few minutes to hang out with me, and find out why physical intimacy in a relationship may not always have to mean sex. Remember, rule number 1, ‘you don’t always have to turn it on, to be a turn on.

Suggested read: 12 Superb Tips On How To Spoon To Boost Intimacy

Touch, the power of tactile affection, is crucial to forming an intimate relationship with that special person in your life. We are all tired, stressed, and anxious from time to time. Often, the thought of rolling around in the hay just doesn’t feel all that enticing, does it? You’re cycle’s out of whack, you’re bothered by what happened during the day, you have an early start tomorrow, and you feel the need to bury every mirror in your apartment. Don’t despair, honey. It doesn’t all have to be about getting some action. The very essence of physical intimacy lies in communication with your partner. Connection. Affection.


couple kissing_New_Love_Times


Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License 

If you come to think about it, sex is something that you can have with anyone. Equating it with physical affection is a rookie mistake that will only leave you feeling alone and dissatisfied. Even one-night stands are a physical act which is all about sex. But there is rarely any intimacy in a one night stand, is there? People are essentially just looking for some companionship and love, and even though a one-night stand can momentarily give you the illusion of intimacy, it is merely just a shadow of the actual thing.

We all need something more than sex to feel wanted and loved and satisfied. Most of the time, marriages and relationships fail because the two people involved aren’t able to have great sex, but the truth of the matter is, you cannot have great sex, unless you are intimate with your partner. Intimacy therefore precedes sex, and there are a number of different ways that you can get physically intimate and close with your partner, without having actual intercourse with them.

couple kissing_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License 

Touching your partner gently on the hand, on their wrist, or upon their arm during dinner are all examples of physical intimacy. Smiling at them, and then extending a gentle hand. Caressing the hair back from their forehead. Kissing them softly upon their jaw. Nestling into their side on a cold winter’s day. Play wrestling with them on the couch. Pillow fights in the morning. A cheeky love pat on the bum. A long and intimate hug upon saying goodbye. All of this counts. Another thing that is grossly underrated is PDA. The adrenaline rush that you get when you and your partner are physically connected when out in public is one of the best ways to establish physical intimacy in a relationship. Putting your arms around each other when you are with a group of people, a kiss on the forehead and holding hands; now, that’s connection.

That, girlfriend, is physical affection. Whether it is a foot, neck or back massage to relieve your lover’s tension, spooning them at night, or simply a kiss hello, it’s all about showing them you care. It is about wanting to touch them because you are attracted to them in ways that are more than sexual. It is about needing their touch and showing them that the physical affection that you have is merely a reflection of your mental, emotional and spiritual connection.

couple hugging_New_Love_Times


Image source:  Pixabay, under Creative Commons License 

Foreplay is also about physical intimacy, which, believe it or not, doesn’t always have to end up with a romp under the sheets. The right touches in the right places can make your hair stand on end and connect you and your partner in ways that you hadn’t even imagined. It gives you goosebumps and makes you feel a mutual sense of love, wanting and devotion, which can then later translate into some mind-blowing sex. But before any of that happens, you and your partner need to know that you are connected spiritually and mentally and you are comfortable with each other completely, which can only happen when you have established physical intimacy between the two of you.

Suggested read: Intimacy Is Important: 9 Intimacy Exercises For Couples To Build A Stronger Connection

Life’s about those moments together, moments when physical intimacy toward your partner illustrates your genuine affection for them. “I love you, Sasha,” he said, as he leaned into me and placed the palms of his hands on my jawline. Gathering my hair together from my cheekbones before collecting it in a bun behind my neck, he stared longingly into my eyes, then kissed me ever so sweetly on the lips. Now, that’s physical intimacy. That’s the moment I first thought of when I opened my eyes today. And it had nothing to do with sex…well, not yet anyway…


Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License